I'm sorry, but I have to vent

Let me tell you a little story that is indicative of what I deal with on a regular basis. This morning, first thing, I stopped at the Salt Lake County courthouse in West Jordan. This is convenient because it's literally a block away from my house, and we file a lot of our cases there, as it's less busy than the courthouse downtown. Anyway, this is not the first time I have had to go there on my way in to work. I find it's easier to drop things off in the morning, because then I don't have to stress about trying to get there before they lock the doors, promptly at 5 pm. (I have missed it in the past.) So, I walk in to the courthouse and join my place in line. Luckily, I was there before the 8:25 rush. You see, there are several things going on all at once. There are lots of people who have done stupid things and been caught doing them. And, when their court date arrives, they have to appear before the court. (Not rocket science.) The list for defendant's and which judge and courtroom they will be required to be in is posted at 8 am every morning. Most of these accused criminals get there at around 8:25, hence the rush. If you are not in the courtroom you are supposed to be, you will be held in contempt, and an warrant is issued for your arrest. It creates a lot of trouble when these people cut the deadline so close.
OK, now that you understand what I'm trying to avoid, let me tell you what happened this morning. I was lucky enough to get there just before the line started forming. I was patiently waiting my turn to go through the metal detector. I'm a thinker and a planner, all three of you who read this know this about me. So, when I go to the courthouse, I take with me: 1-my car keys, I have to get back in when I'm done; 2-my coat if it's cold out, and the pockets are completely empty; 3-my cell phone in case I need to call one of my fabulous co-workers with questions about what I'm filing; and 4-whatever it is that I need to take to the court. That's it. Nothing in my pants pockets, no purse, nothing. If I will need to pay a filing fee, I have a check signed and ready to go. If I need something printed, I will stash cast in my pocket cause they charge 25 cents for every stinkin' page they print for you. Otherwise, that's it. I'm guessing that the gentleman in front of me in the line for the metal detector did not plan as well as I usually do. This is why I think that: (The conversation with the deputy at the detector went like this)
Guy: I have to take everything out of my pockets?
Deputy: No, just things that will not pass the metal detector, and that includes your belt.
Guy: Ok, well what about my wallet?
Deputy: Does it have metal in it?
Guy: No
Deputy: Then no
Guy: Here's my belt (it was one of those nasty ones that looks like old car seat upholstery)
Deputy: Do you have spare change in your pockets? (I'm guessing in response to the jingling of the change that we all heard. Yes, coins are metal, they will set off metal detectors.)
Guy: Yeah
Deputy: Please put it in the bin too
Guy: (digs out the change in his pocket) Here are my car keys (like the deputy needs commentary on what's coming out of the guy's pockets-sheesh)
Now, here's where it gets really interesting. I'm wondering if he thought that the deputy would not notice this in the first place and maybe he could sneak it by, or if the guy really was this dumb, but as he's pulling the small pocket knife out of his pocket he says, "Here's my weapon"
Seriously
I'm not kidding
He said that.
Now, it's not like this thing was a machete. But, obviously, weapons of any kind are not allowed in the courthouse. Common sense, right? The deputy then tells him that he'll have to take that out to his car, because they will not hold any personal items while you are in the courthouse-understandably.
So, smart guy leaves his wallet, his belt, his spare change--grabs his keys--and goes to put his "weapon" in his car.
So I think to myself: Was he hoping the deputy wouldn't notice that there was a picket knife in the midst of all his crap? If so, why bring attention to it by referring to it as your "weapon"? Or, was he so nervous about trying to sneak it in that he blurted it out? Or was he just dumb enough to not think ahead about the fact that he had to go through a metal detector AND that knives, regardless of their size and lethalness (yes I realize that is a word I just made up) are not allowed into a courthouse?
I'm going with the last option. I skirted around as he walked past me and watched as his dead-behind-the-eyes wife wandered around looking for the docket to find out what courtroom they needed to report to. I then put my simple manilla folder with documents to be filed and my keys in the bin and walked through the metal detector. (I didn't take my phone because this time, I knew I wouldn't need to call anyone.) I actually spent more time watching this yahoo and his antics than I did filing the documents with the court clerk. As I was walking back to my car, he was walking back in to the courthouse. I would love to be a fly on the wall in that courtroom!